T for Tom


Posted in poem by johnsontoms on August 5, 2011

As I was walking through the garden that opened the coffee shop,

Underneath a thatch gazebo sat a pink notecard that caught my eye

and for reasons I don’t know why

I had to stop.


I think partly I wasn’t ready to go in and accepted the excuse to stay out,

Nervous to meet for the first time the girl I knew two nights before

But also because my curiosity wanted to see what the card was about.


Sure enough and without much surprise it was a verse from the Bible written there in ink,

“Only through Christ…” or something along those lines

and I wanted to reply

so I started to think.


Before I could write an answer the rain started to fall,

I went inside without thinking it over,

she saw me from the corner

and I had to sit with nothing to say at all.


It was good to see her reading so I wouldn’t give her discomfort

As I worked to find the right words to be written down

So if again the card were found

The message might have worth.


Of course she had to ask and from me: “It’s something I need to say.”

Wrote something down by Heidegger like “I became free once I gave up God”

and though I was afraid of what she thought

she put no expression on her face.


In some weird way I thought it might impress her

She was reading the Bhagavad Gita for one

But there was also a son

which makes holding faith for her just that much better.


Then it was like starting over ’cause we were drunk during that night

I think that’s why she called me to spend time during the day

Hoping that being sober would give us time to say

words that felt right.


“Is that really what you think?”

“I don’t know what I believe but I know what I don’t.”

And the more I talked it became just a ramble,

but something I hoped she’d see

that these things were just me

and she wouldn’t leave on her own.


And when she closed her book and began to shuffle my nervous ticks started

…’There she goes’ with her soft, dark skin and deep, peering eyes,

One of the wonderfully gorgeous ones I’m glad to find

but always leave me broken hearted.


She got up, ran her hands through her hair, turned around and smiled.

“Let’s go for a walk” as she pointed to the rain

And I got up to go her way

Leaving the notecard behind where it could be found in a while.


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