T for Tom

We Have Never Defeated Nazism

Posted in america, Prose by johnsontoms on August 14, 2017

Fewer and fewer times do I have things to say. The myriad issues that plague us, approachingly, personally, more and more each day, the more I am becoming numb. The struggle for positivity is at large among the world favoring those on the wrong side, and each event is merely evidence in loss. Charlottesville is no different. I am not surprised that such an event even had ideation and was organized in principle; I am not surprised that many like-minded individuals attended in support, among which many wore and flew Nazi flags, symbols, regalia, and dress; I am not surprised that those who hold (rightfully) values in opposition chose to counter-protest; I am not surprised that these clashes ended in death; I am not surprised that the President is unmoved. What I am surprised about, by many on both sides (to use a phrase), is the end-gaming that Nazism, as an idea and object, is both at once to blame for the outcome and at the same time defeatable. It’s presence at the event and in the year 2017 (the year two thousand and fucking seventeen) should make obvious that Nazism, as an avatar of hate, simple hate, is both indefatigable and undefeated. We did not defeat Nazism. We did not defeat Nazism because it is just one face of fear, hate, and oppression. But fear, hate, and oppression come in many forms, and like Nazism, they persist. We may have defeated an evil in 1945, but we did not defeat evil incarnate. Nazism as a form of government then was defeated, but Nazism as an ideology for hate was not defeated. Do not think that defeating it now will solve the crisis at hand.

These conclusions are simple enough:

If it is that Nazism is here again, it must be, then, that it never went away.

If it is that Nazism never away, it must be, then, that we never defeated it.

If it is that Nazism was never defeated, it must be, then, that it is spreading.

If it is that Nazism is spreading, it must be, then, that is being bred.

If it is that Nazism is being bred, it must be, then, that the system allows it.

If it is that the system allows Nazism, it must be, then, that the system must be changed.

This is the conclusion that will propel us in the right steps forward. This is logic, by definition. Logic determines that if we cannot suffer more tragedy, we must trace the events of causality to their root. Heather Heyer did not die because she was hit by a car (figuratively, at least), nor did she die because of the Nazis in the crowd. She did not die because the President of the United States encourages and endorses white supremacy, and she did not die because police did not intervene soon enough. The police did not intervene because of the never-imperiled distinctions of free speech that so protect our civilization that we forego simple enforcements that deny hate speech; the event occurred because declaring it an obvious intrusion on minority rights would be to declare it an intrusion on free speech; that do declare these protests an act of free speech must then equally protect those who choose to speak in opposition; that to protect both groups means to allow them, if not rightly encourage them, to appear face to face in physical antagonism without a determinant end.

Rather than step in and declare the obvious facts that this event would lead to death, the system must masquerade in protection of our constitutional rights until someone loses theirs.

This same masquerade is responsible for allowing Nazi flags in the march. This same system is responsible for allowing Nazi symbols online and in books and on clothing and in the streets and in the homes. This same system that will not impugn a person’s defined right to free speech is responsible for letting any person freely speak hate. This same system, the one that lets people freely march in Nazism in 2017, is the same system that declared victory over Nazism in 1945.

You’ve seen the pictures by now: improvised war slogans and updated propaganda to show Uncle Sam towering over the Nazi flag, ready to fight again. Do not be fooled that such a limited grasp of the issue will solve the problems. These are a few of the problems:

Black people cannot go safely in public.

Millions of Americans go bankrupt each year due to medical expenses.

Non-cisgender persons are shamed, murdered, and denied medical treatment.

Government officials are systematically redacting environmental protections.

The world’s wealth continues to accumulate at the top.

Aid is not distributed evenly around the world to states in need.

The education system is being dismantled to encourage creationism and science denial.

These problems are not the direct result of nor the cause of Nazism. They are one and the same in effect a result of hate, in its many forms. Distracting us to think that Nazism can now be the enemy again is to look away from the many problems that defeating Nazism will not solve. Distracting us to think that we can “defeat Nazism again” is to endorse the same government that “defeated” it before. Should you then endorse that system of government if it never defeated Nazism? Should you then endorse that system of government if it breeds Nazism?

Do not join in the chorus: Nazism is not your only enemy. Hate is the enemy. Government officials who prescribe hate are the enemy. The voters who empower those officials are the enemy. Be they Nazis, whites, klansmen, or your grandfather who’s just a believer in small government and fiscal responsibility. If it was your own father who prioritized lowering taxes over social equality, he is the enemy. He is also a fool. Do not be a fool also.

If you want to change these things, you must change the system that allowed them to exist. If you want to rid the world of these crimes, you must snuff out the protections that empowered them. If you want the voice of love and equality to be stronger than the voices of hate and persecution, you must form a system that educates, encourages, and promotes a tolerance for love alone with a violent intolerance for its opposite.

If you want a system that can defeat Nazism, the American system isn’t for you.



An Open Letter

Posted in Prose, Trying To Get Published, Uncategorized by johnsontoms on July 26, 2017

An open letter to my parents, their friends, and strangers like them:

Did all your dreams come true? Do you have everything you’ve ever imagined and more? I imagine you must be sitting there in a broad, window-lined living room, a small dog at the foot of your lounging sofa, the room dimly lit with ornate lamps, the spaces filling with the sound of Sinatra and a crackling fire while you or your spouse finish cooking in the kitchen where all the countertops are marble and the stove is electric. Somewhere in the garage are two SUVs and a stable of camping equipment for the many vacations you’ve taken and the many more you plan, miles of American highway that never stand in your way from the time away with your family. You return, you always do, because of the obligations of work and family, and spend the days in between your weeks alternately going to work and walking into church. The pension is growing, and there’s no need to worry when the boy and girl both need football equipment for their summer teams (soccer for the little girl, of course) because you’re on track for your third promotion and should have yourself set up quite nicely by the age of 55. No, nothing else could be needed.

Is that why you won’t let us have anything? Are you sitting there in that living room right now thinking, no, there’s nothing else the world could have or do, and so I will do everything I can to keep it just this way? Because I can’t think of any other reason to support the ideas, policies, and moral politics of a corrupt body that willfully, purposefully, and cruelly works to malign, injure, and put to death millions of people swiftly and at once.

If you are sitting there comfortably on your way to a rich retirement (and I don’t think you are), how did you get there? I believe you had opportunities, plural, rich opportunities in a world with less competition – when an entire race (or many entire races), gender, and age group are not allowed to gain employment in the only few sectors that pay salaries commensurate with a single family’s needs, do you feel that you fairly competed for the things you enjoy? Do you think that you got to that home, the two vehicles, and the recreational time by being treated equitably? If you think it’s been fair, you should look around. It hasn’t been, has never been fair, but the world is not ready to quit changing.

I have a strange fear, a real deep fear, that I’m wrong – you aren’t sitting there with a book in hand, staring out the windows at the light snowfall, dreaming of your upcoming beach vacation. You’re standing over the work desk, driving a truck cross-country, tossing boxes into the delivery truck, loading fish from the dock, or chopping trees. When you’re done you head home to a two-bedroom house with a five-member family, a kitchen without a stove, and only one car to drive the family. Worse, no car. Your marriage is tense because the bills are paid paycheck-to-paycheck while the children beg for more. Worse, no bills are paid and the children are still begging. And to top it all off, you remember sitting there in your parents living room – that same one I imagined for you – where the Christmas tree is lit, the presents stocked underneath, and you wonder why you don’t have the same. And worse, in your wondering, you believe the best way to get it is by getting back to that world where it seemed so possible – the world where everyone else (those weirdos with their dark skin and gay lovers and young punk hair) are stifled, put back in their place.

I wish that wasn’t the case. I wish you had the open-ceiling sunroom, afternoon sky gently illuminating your cocktail hour. I wish you had the trim garden outside with the veranda where you entertain your guests, telling jokes about the 18th hole. I wish you had the dreams of your fathers fulfilled just as they imagined for you. Because it would mean that these things were possible, in spite of the immigrants and the homosexuals and the millennials.

Because the immigrants and the homosexuals and the millennials aren’t going anywhere. This is their world to inherit. You and your friends have held on longer than usual, the benefit of growing medical science. There is reason for grievance – at the age now where you’ve either secured the healthcare you need through riches, or by simply living long enough to own state-funded Medicare, your choices and decisions and feelings about others (everyone else) is that they don’t deserve it. It might be even worse. Maybe you know they deserve it, too, but because you can’t think of a way for both of you to have it, you’ll selfishly deny them to keep your own. I can think of a few ways, but me and my generation, haven’t been allowed the clout of decision. I just wish it didn’t have to be that way.

I wish I didn’t grow up knowing I’d never have full garage or a mantel trimmed with Christmas stockings. I wish I didn’t grow up making plans to own very little, not even home to call my home, for fear of debt and the subsequent inability to move about. I wish I didn’t have to show up at work worried that my hair might make me seem out of place, or that I’ll never get promoted in time to cover my expenses because the supervisory jobs are held by boomers who never got their retirement. I wish I didn’t have to consciously, deliberately deny myself children because this world can’t sustain any more, or worse, the consequences of war and climate change would keep them from even living a full life. I wish I could sit there, like you wanted for yourself, without a worry in the world.

I am thankful, however, that you raised us in this world. Without the heartache, the unending the debt, the racism, the age discrimination, the wars on your behalf, the political manipulation of women’s bodies, the general diaspora of hate and filth, I wouldn’t be here today wishing you well. I might be just like you, in that living room telling the world to stop growing, stop changing, I like it just the way it was. I am thankful that I am eyes-open to the starving, the slaving, the shaming, the stealing, the warring, and the killing. Because I don’t want that for anyone. And that’s more important than what I do want for even just myself.

There isn’t enough for everyone to have large homes and multiple gas-fueled cars. There isn’t enough for everyone to have retirement funds or closets full of clothes or food for baby or books on the shelf or luxuries upon luxuries. There’s barely enough water on the planet as it is. We’re all just trying to survive. Those of us who suffer are catching on that the good life is an oasis, if not a myth outright. Don’t be so ignorant as to suffer and not yet be aware.

Because whether you have it now or never got it and still dream of having it before you die, I’m tired of you taking it from me before I ever even get it.



On Good and Evil

Posted in Prose by johnsontoms on January 26, 2017

We must remember the equal law of the universe. Perspective allows but timeliness denies the ability to see that things are as good as they are bad in equal measure. So for whichever you feel the direction the wind, hold also that it grows and shrinks for the opposite as well.

It would be easy to look around and say that things are as awful as they have ever been in a long time. But even 158 years ago, Dickens famously recognized that “it was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” The temerity of humanity hasn’t changed much. That in our ability to see further, imagine greater, and believe brighter, there lurks too stronger fears, more powerful hate, and terminal disbelief. The limits of each end are only defined by the reach of your knowledge.

For these fears to exist now, that we headed in a doomed direction, must then be because of the greater acknowledgement that we can do so much better. Just a few hundred years ago, there was not a real testament to the power of peace, but the wellspring of harmony spreads in the modern times only as the violence of war continues to reach every corner of the earth. They are as married as tide and the moon.

The fears that bring this about are of course very real. There are genuine concerns that the climate may buckle before our children grow old. There are real people dying everyday in a war that grows only in extremities and sees no end. There are people everyday dying in poverty, left without the programs in place needed to ensure their survival in an overcrowded world. There is an entire gender that has very little control over its reproductive system. But to recognize these is to know also that a future can exist without these issues. Equal parts good, bad.

I believe that this swing of things is the direct result of the positive steps taken in the recent past. While not fully developed in practice or politics, there is an increasing public awareness to the value of positivity, charity, and peace. Negative rhetoric only increases to combat an equal measure of positive rhetoric. And out from this war of words, ideas, facts, and beliefs, we have seen only one side “win,” insofar as allow it to be a victory. And it may even be a giant, leaping step in that direction. But not long ago there was a victory for good. For all these reasons, it may be an even bigger leap than the one we’re taking now. And then it’s the good’s turn.

For this we have to keep hope alive. It is unbound by the rules of good and evil, and exists only within your heart. Hope. The world continues to conspire to make evil of art, reason, fact, and existence, but we are still alive. There is no greater reason to rejoice than to celebrate that the streets are still full of good people. And a great deal of them are taking to the streets in increasing numbers.

So there in your home, keep hope alive. There in your workplace, keep hope alive. In your churches, your synagogues, your gardens and bowling alleys, keep hope alive. Everywhere we look go and gather, there are people in the great communion of the soul, conversing, cheering, arguing, and living in the splendor the human condition. It is by its definition an awful condition to be stricken with in our existence, but that only means we can achieve an equal amount of good if we recognize and overcome its terminal end. We are not meant to be here, and so the only choice is to make good of it.

Because without hope, we will meet only our end. We’ll meet our end anyway, but let’s make the choice to do it in peace. Here’s to optimism in the new world.

How Am I Supposed to Feel?

Posted in Prose by johnsontoms on October 6, 2013

How am I supposed to feel about this?

As things get worse, other things carry on.  Enough other things carry on and everywhere everyone can act like nothing is happening.  There are still the magazines to tell you how to dress, the televisions to tell you how to vote, the radios to tell you how to dance, and the schools to tell you who to be.  We walk the streets in a mired identity that believes somehow it is singular yet, all around us, are others of us.  And every one of us, alike and the same, carries on like nothing is happening.  “It will pass” and “it will end soon” are spoken intelligently like we know, like we have the answer, because it feels right, doesn’t it? But what is it to feel right?  How did we arrive in a place where giving to others is a political battleground?  And while there are so many things to indicate that such an emotion is a path wrongly taken, that too – that feeling that giving to others is a human right, not a charity – could be a symptom of years and generations of going about it all wrong.

After all – what about where we are says anything we’ve ever done was good?

Because here we are, stuck in the middle of a government shutdown during one of the most volatile, divisive, politically eruptive periods in American history staring down a mounting list of problems as society continues to rift, debts continue to grow, men and women continue to be shot down, racial divides thicken, sexual and religious inequality persist, and there to oversee it is a government body that collectively said “fuck it.”  It’s a remarkable thing to say, maybe finally, that democracy has failed.  It has failed us, it has failed itself, and I begin to wonder how much longer we can sit by and try to patch the holes in a ship that is clearly capsizing.  What’s so wrong with revolution after all?

But we mustn’t think politically.  These problems are too rich to play with numbers, too significant to meet with logic, for logic and numbers have long been thrown away.  In many ways, logic and numbers brought us to this point – where, for sake of a seat in office, for sake of identifying with regimes and ideas, for sake of wanting to keep what’s ours, we’ve given up on the idea of charity.  Frankly, this all boils down to politicians and their supporters that refuse to help those in need, by providing a simple basic service, medicare, that might keep someone alive.  Isn’t it incredible? I mean, how can we look at ourselves and say that we’re debating people’s worthiness to live?  That’s what’s going on.  And I don’t know how to feel.

It should be so much more simple than turning on the switch again, and as much as I want someone to do it, it won’t change the void and disillusion I have – this feels like something that should be changing my life, but I feel nothing.  I’m more frustrated from the loneliness, the normality of it all.  While I walk around trying to grab onto people or words or ideas to make sense of what’s happening, the world keeps spinning and in it are people that watch it spin.  As a government employee I should be affected, changed, impacted, much less enraged, but I got paid – one of the few, and I’m still at work, and I’m carrying on, and nothing’s changed, except that my government has failed.  That idea has done more to me than any paycheck ever could.

I can’t accept living in a world so disengaged.  These are acts of tyranny, the times when politicians get drunk on the eve of watching the government die.  But I can’t very well blame them for living within an environment that watched such behavior blossom and become, largely, a mode of acceptable behavior beyond punitive action and free of ridicule; in a sense, everyone was doing it, so what’s the big deal?  That millions of lives worldwide ride on it.  But, like everyone else who keeps checking their smart phones for updates or watching their televisions for sports scores or checking their internet for cat photos, distractions keep us from realizing what’s going on, feeling the gravity of the situation, and knowing for once that we’re in a bad place.  We’re on a slow boat to anarchy.

Decisions are being made for spite.  Real world, heavy decisions are being made for spite.  Ones in particular that shut down a government and make literally zero logical sense other than to enrage voters and chase reelection.  Where are we when this is acceptable political behavior?  And more than what can be done, how did we arrive here?  Has it always been like this?  How should I feel about this?

The arguments are so compellingly strong against the behavior of the few that have made this happen.  The irrational decision to fight a bill that has been signed into law is never one that will make sense, and, as the president has calmly said, “are tactics designed to ransom the government and its people for things that will not change.”  I believe that’s an impeachable offense.  But it’s not important.  I can’t get over the fact that in the 21st Century, this new millennium, we still have people who refuse to help others.

In an argument the other day with a coworker, his reasons for support of such behavior circled around the fact that the many shouldn’t take care of the worthless few.  Never mind that over 40-million working adults can’t afford healthcare, and that 1 in 5 choose to go without, these people are infringing on the capitalist efforts of the few who have.  The few who have earned a little bit, who have something others don’t and don’t want to share.  It didn’t mean anything to him that his own friend, another coworker standing near us who is a father to four children and previously earned less than 30,000$ a year, couldn’t afford health care were he not in the military.  The first man was convinced that “the country’s gangsters” would “abuse Obamacare” to “get things they don’t deserve.” How in the hell is this kind of idea real?  How the fuck can people go on living like this and saying these things?

That to me is a more pressing issue than the government shutdown.  I don’t know what to feel because the issues at hand are not the most important.  Even as millions ignore that it’s even happening, for the few who are paying attention I want to say – look harder.  This is not about politics.  This is about human behavior.  This is about human emotion.  This is feeling.  This is about the ideas of religion and philosophy and the culture of fear.  This is about thinking.  Thinking goddammit, and are we thinking anything at all.

Because if we’ve gotten everything so wrong, it means also that how we think is wrong.  To its worst end, maybe the idea that we should help each other is wrong.  To its illogical conclusion, maybe we should accept that life is a series of births and deaths and attempting to save a life is pointless, nay, harmful.  It’s frightening because it feels so wrong, but that’s what I’m talking about – if everything we think is right is actually wrong, then what about the opposite?  How long before we give it a shot?  How long before we don’t have a choice?

We can’t keep going about things the same way forever.  History is a series of trial and error, a long steady line of mistakes, theories, hypotheses, test and conclusion.  Along the way there have been the romantic few who dared to accelerate the process: Plato, Pythagoras, Copernicus, Newton, Da Vinci, Kant, Bacon, Einstein, Tesla, the ones who through philosophy, mathematics, science, and sheer curiosity dared to dream of a world with answers derived from simply asking questions.  They were the ones who about them saw a world that didn’t work quite the way it was advertised, and they sought (and succeeded) in providing a few more ways to think.

But with these foundations for thinking having been laid down for thousands of years, our contemporary state seems scripted.  In a way, the greatest thinkers and doers have been said to answer humanity’s greatest scientific and moral dilemmas.  We know that humans should persevere to help other humans, and we are left to figure out how.  We know that electricity can stimulate particles to create energy, and if harnessed properly, can compute equations at a percentile of the human brain’s capacity, and we are left to figure out its greatest use.  We know that particle physics can dissemble the known universe, and we’re left to figure out how to make it possible.  We know that people shouldn’t die young, and we’re left to figure out why it’s still happening.  It’s like putting together an existential puzzle where the factions of the earth each have a piece don’t believe that other pieces are needed.  If only these factions could cooperate.  More exciting still, is that there is more thinking to be done.  Look no further than the perilous state of things to know that we haven’t gotten most anything figured out.

I’m not the first, lord no, not the first to have this idea.  If I’m lucky I’ll have even a fraction of the success those before me had with it.  In the 18th Century, Immanuel Kant became fed up with the way things were presented.  Having seen a recorded history of the world and its moral dilemmas decided by faith, Kant proposed a way of thinking that stated directly why humans felt such moral gravity and how such faith failed to answer the implications.  It was revolutionary: “Up to now it has been assumed that all our cognition must conform to the objects; but … let us once try whether we do not get farther with the problems of metaphysics by assuming that the objects must conform to our cognition” (Critique of Pure Reason).  Essentially, the way we perceived our experiences is a consequence of our predisposed ideas, or, we get what we want from things.  Kant was raised in the church (big surprise) and a stern home education focusing on the use of Latin and classic theologies.  In short order, a boiling point for the thinking man.  And while it is important to notice the things he was able to conjure, the beautiful and mystic moral questions he was able to transcribe, it is most important to evaluate his positive assertion for the necessity of thinking – our experiences conform to our ideas, or the way we want them.  And he didn’t want to be like that.  Everything he was taught to believe didn’t seem entirely right because, as he correctly hypothesized, it was a result of scatological heresy passed down in the form of history to be taught as truth.  He didn’t know what truth was out there – he just knew that what he was being told was wrong.  And for his efforts we have the greatest works on Moral Metaphysics ever assembled, paving the way for why the human brain seeks cognitively to search for the best emotional solution.

This is of great consequence in the modern day.

The Age of Information after all is pummeling us like a steamroller from hell.  Life is advancing at such a speed that profits are proportionately related to the amount of technology used in production (I just came up with that, but fuck, isn’t it true?).  The trickle-down effect of this relationship affects you, the user and consumer and producer, in the market economy of “slave wages,” for lack of a better term.  Basically, you need money to survive; in order to make money you need a job; in order to keep a job you have to operate within the confines of the jobs demands; the job will remain present and profitable in so long as it is within the curve of advancing technology; you, personally, therefore must stay within the curve of advancing technology.  And so begins a life connected infinitely to the radio waves of the internet, radio, television, and cellular life.  As much as I have removed television from life (I have not one, do not watch more than an hour each month in public spaces), and as much as I try to refrain from other modes of consumption, I have to keep my e-mail updated to receive important communications from coworkers and my employer.  As a resident of Europe for a couple of years now, the easiest method by which I can contact anyone, sadly, is Facebook.  This relationship with technology can vary in degrees, but the necessity to operate in the modern has us crippled.  Instead of thinking, we’re consuming.  Instead of running ahead, we’re catching up.  Reactive, not proactive.  And while we know that we shouldn’t be so easily directed by the flow of traffic, we know also that we should be able to answer life’s simple questions of survival – food, shelter, family, in that order, thank you Maslow – and in the Age of Information we can do that.  It isn’t until that process is interrupted that we will realize the true order of chaos around us.

Because, truly, what have we gotten from this modern world?  We’re too afraid to believe that the things we own, all the total sum of the products, emotions, and ideas that we possess within our mind, could be as strong as the house built on the sand, to use a well-known analogy.  It’s frightening that everything we know is wrong.  Frightening, absolutely shaking.  So while the government goes into shutdown, while our government is failing, we sit back and watch the television and focus our time on distractions to make it seem less real.

The failure of government is a real and shocking truth in this country that no one yet is fully conceptualizing.  Just imagine now – think of all the times you’ve heard the battle cry, “it’s unconstitutional.”  The indictment on any unjust action as “unconstitutional” is as strong or stronger in this country of ours than any previous moral judgment ever used, biblical or otherwise.  It’s a way of life here, in the blood.  The Constitution is our bible, our religious document.  Invoking its charges, we’ve been led to believe that only be the words of Thomas Jefferson and the founding fathers (just men, mind you) we’ve been able to forge out a world of peace, freedom, and liberty through a system of government we call democracy.  For nearly 250 years it has been the calling card to successes large and small.  And now it’s wrong.  It doesn’t work.

I’m telling you that democracy isn’t working.

John Adams, of a few people, said as much: “Remember, democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There never was a democracy yet that did not commit suicide. It is in vain to say that democracy is less vain, less proud, less selfish, less ambitious, or less avaricious than aristocracy or monarchy. It is not true, in fact, and nowhere appears in history. Those passions are the same in all men, under all forms of simple government, and when unchecked, produce the same effects of fraud, violence, and cruelty.” (letter to John Tyler, April 15, 1814, The Collected Works of John Adams)

It is not without any sense of irony that we should also discuss the exact mechanics at work for this failure: in the attempt to make irrelevant the voting power of the republic collective, Federalists relegated the proportionality system of delegates (equal in proportion to population) used in the House of Representatives to the lower tier of the legislative branch, one not responsible for creation of law.  It is however, as part of a bicameral legislature, while not able to create much, capable of at least saying “no” once in a while, as it has and is right now and goddamn it you fools.

Just reading over the words in the above paragraph seem to place the government (which is after all, a group of men getting together, and nothing more) in the same lofty levels as the heavens, the after life, and the karmic truth.  But it is just a group of men entrusted to make decisions for the majority.  It is a tool of voice, a tool no different than the microwave, the refrigerator, the latex condom (less effective, in fact).

What have these tools, these inventions, these governments given us that in any way solves the problems we’ve raised and known to be quarrelsome?  For all the things we’ve created, how then can we not solve something as simple as war with an answer as simple as peace?

It means to me that the entire way of thinking is wrong.  Everything.  All of it.  Peace as we know it is a false concept.  Death as we know it is a false concept.  War, government, politics, state borders, all false.  Sex, reproduction, gods and love are all in the mind, as are feelings of esteem, courtesy, jealousy, pride, anger, frustration, and accomplishment.  Charity, benevolence, kindness, sympathy, and compassion are as equally useless and hollow as hate, violence, prejudice, and intolerance.  We feel and believe all of these things as a result of what we’ve been told.  None of it is true.

It means that my feelings of disillusion, too, are misplaced.  It means I shouldn’t feel that the anarchy is slowing creeping our way, because I should not expect anarchy to be weighted proximally by equal feelings of remorse, regret, fear, and anxiety, as I’ve been taught to believe.

It means I should sit back and welcome the chaos like the warm rising tide that swells in the night with the weight of a dark, burning moon glowing lowly over the horizon never to spin its face the other way because it knows like we know that change is violent and it takes all the power of the sun and stars to make a giant transform its way of life.




…But I really cannot articulate enough, over and over again, this sentences:

How do we live in a world still filled with people who think its okay to operate with hate in their hearts?

How do we still live in a country that operates on blatant and unreal racism and bigotry?

Why do people continue to refuse to help other people?

What is it about personal possessions that is much more gratifying than charity?

I mean, seriously. What do you have that you can’t live without that makes affordable healthcare for people in need an impracticality?

There are a lot of things that can be written in political science journals about the shifts happening right now, and I think the strongest is this – this government shutdown is proof that the two-party system is largely institutionalized beyond a point of referendum, as seen in the power of the radical Tea Party (side note: I’m glad that some outlets are finally labeling the Tea Party as “radical”).  Or, essentially, because of the fear engrained in the historical ideology of the antebellum South and the corporate donations made to the Republican Party on behalf of the gentrified companies that are run by people with such ideology, the Republican Party as a whole must pander to its ideas and wishes rather than dissemble or realign.  I mean, for fuck’s sake, they call themselves the Tea Party – they want things they way they were hundreds of years ago, you know, before a black man took over the presidency.

Which leaves me with two questions:

1)   How do these people survive in this world?

2)   Why aren’t we working harder to eradicate their antiquated beliefs?

Whatever.  Just go post something about #shutdownLOL on tumblr while you order your Pumpkin Spice Latte because that’s all you wanted when fall season rolled around because the movies are still on and its NFL Sunday and I’ve got to work tomorrow and the fall premiere season has started on television and gas prices haven’t gone up and my baby boy brought home his first homework assignment from kindergarten today about the alphabet and isn’t it cute when we get to dress him up for Sunday service? and next week we’ll go to grandma’s and eat that casserole she loves to make but I’ll take my hat off at the table this time even though you know I love to wear it everywhere I mean how often do you see me without it and a can of Bud Light because that’s what a man is supposed to wear even if he’s in the club, just like getting out the muddin’ truck it just feels good speaking of which where are the boys going this weekend? I need plans for Halloween something to do after watching the football game but let’s keep it cheap ‘cause we have to start saving up for Christmas time you know the boys want a new video game system this year the fancy one that everyone else has because I don’t want to him cry about it you know I’m not good with this but I wasn’t out too late I just needed a day to get away there are so many things going on right now I just needed to relieve some stress yes I’ll pay the bills and it’s your turn to walk the dog and I don’t care I just like my coffee black I’ll get it for you after the next paycheck and no I’m not worried about the government shutdown because it doesn’t have anything to do with me #LOLlolololololololol